What is included on the test?
Example of a real test
Example of our joke panel
What is a Drug Test/Panel?
A drug test is a technical analysis of a biological specimen, for example urine, hair, blood, breath, sweat, and/or oral fluid/saliva—to determine the presence or absence of specified parent drugs or their metabolites
The drugs most often tested for include: marijuana, opiates; such as heroin, codeine, oxycodone, morphine, hydrocodone, and fentanyl; Amphetamines, including methamphetamine; as well as cocaine, nicotine and alcohol.
Our Test Includes Results For
Controlled substance, can cause rapid or irregular heartbeat, delirium, panic, psychosis, and heart failure
A class of psychoactive drugs commonly prescribed to treat insomnia, epilepsy, and alcohol dependence.
Prolonged use can lead to tolerance, dependence and other adverse effects
Compounds created through use of cocaine, a strong stimulant mostly used as a recreational drug.
Prolonged use can lead to addition and more serious side effects/health problems
A sedative and hypnotic medication more known under its brand name, Quaalude.
Used for insomnia but has a high risk of abuse.
A mind-altering drug more commonly known as PCP or angel dust that can cause hallucinations, distorted perceptions of sounds, and potentially violent behavior.
A psychoactive substance that is the active ingredient in drinks such as beer, wine, and distilled spirits.
Has various short-term and long-term effects
A class of sedative or sleep-inducing drugs derived from barbituric acid.
Can be effective as anxiolytics, hypnotics, or anticonvulsants, but have the potential to become addictive physically and psychologically
Compounds created through use of cannabis, a psychoactive drug used for recreational and medical purposes.
The psychoactive compound, and what is tested for, is delta 9-tetrahydrocannabinol (THC).
Part of the opioid class, it’s a highly addictive painkiller initially created to treat extreme pain.
It is now more commonly used to treat narcotic drug addiction.
Substances that act on opioid receptors to product morphine-like effects.
Medically used for pain relief, the term refers to natural or slightly modified components of opium (such as codeine, morphine and heroin), and includes a wide range of brand names
A narcotic meant as a pain-reliever or cough suppressant.
Less powerful than morphine or codeine and can cause serious adverse effects including heart palpitations.
Are these real?
The panels we create are purely for entertainment purposes only. They are in no way intended to give any actual indication of dependence or use. If you or someone you know may be struggling with addition please contact a medical professional.
How private are the results
Completely Private! Again we do not retain any personally identifiable information or share with any outside party (apart from payment processing partners).
Do you keep or share any information?
We will NEVER keep or share any of your personally-identifiable, private information. To create the test we do ask for a gender and age of the “subject”, but feel free to supply any information you’d prefer. We do not collect your email address or any other information.